HOW MUCH INTEREST SHOULD YOU SHOW HER………?

In the year 2 AD, an Ancient Roman poet by the name of Ovid wrote a famous book about love… it was basically the “How to Make Girls Chase” of the days of the Gladiators. That book was called Ars Amatoria, or in English: The Art of Love. Check it out… it’s an interesting read.

In the book, Ovid recommends that you be her mirror… whatever emotions she shows, you reflect them back at her. If she seems disinterested, you withdraw as well. If she comes toward you, feel free to do the same.

This is a pretty good concept, because it does a pretty decent job at preventing the passion trap. Keep in mind… relationships usually tip out of balance because one partner shows more interest than the other… one person falls more in love than the other, and loses control.

If you were to just follow this simple rule of Ovid’s, you’d be on safe ground as far as that is concerned.

However, it is a bit reactive and you’re really being too much at effect and not enough at cause with this system. If you want to spiral the relationship up to higher levels of emotional engagement – if you want to know how to make a girl fall in love and have it really stick – I recommend a technique I call “Mirror Minus One” – you mirror her, except you always show a bit less interest than she does.

This gains you some power in the situation… enough to occasionally make a push forward and take the relationship to a higher level by suddenly showing MORE interest than she’s showing.

If you’ve been paying attention, you also realize that this naturally creates a push-pull dynamic… it sends her mixed signals.

So… WHEN should you show less interest and when more?

The best answer is to follow simple behavior modification theory – show her more interest when she deserves it. You always want to reward behaviors that you like, because it strengthens them.